Did you know that most of our communication doesn’t come from the words we say, but from how we say them—our body language, facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice? Here’s an example that may sound familiar: when my husband comes home from work, he doesn’t need to say a word—I can usually tell how his day went just by the way he walks in the door. If he has a little pep in his step, flashes me a smile, and gently hangs up his keys, I know it was a good day. But if he walks in with slumped shoulders, avoids eye contact, and tosses his keys down with a sigh, it’s clear it wasn’t the easiest day. Our children communicate in the same way! They use their body language long before they use words. Tuning into these nonverbal cues can open up countless opportunities to support their communication and language development.
When you are with your child and you can safely assume what they are communicating, simply provide that language in the moment. Whether that be verbally, gestures, on a communication board, or even on a speech generating device. This can be illustrated if you and your child are having a snack in the kitchen. Your child has just finished their juice, and you ask them if they want more to drink. Your child hops off their chair and starts to walk away without saying or indicating anything. This would be a great time to model “all done,” or “no” either verbally, modeling with an American Sign Language sign, on their communication board, or speech generating device. I will typically model the language, “It looks like you’re telling me “all done/no” while modeling with any of the above options. This gives them the opportunity to follow the model or be exposed to a potential response for the next situation in a meaningful interaction. It’s important to note that we can never definitively know what the child is communicating, so we want to provide a possible answer, by using model phrases, such as, “it seems like you’re saying…” “It looks like you’re telling me…” or “it looks like you mean.” This allows your child to understand what their body language is communicating to you as well.
Another example would be if your child is interacting with their favorite toy and they are smiling, laughing, and/or running around the room. This would be a great time to take advantage of the communication opportunity to model, “It looks like you’re saying, ‘This is fun!’ or ‘Fun!’” or even model emotions with, “happy” or “excited.” Again, they do not need to imitate the model, but just being exposed to the language is beneficial. This is the key- providing a possible response in the moment for the most significant learning opportunity. Your child will opt for the easiest route to communicate their wants/needs/ideas, so let’s provide them with those tools!
Now you may be thinking, This seems like an all day job! As we all know, life is busy! So as it becomes a habit for yourself, start small. Trying to focus on these communication opportunities during one activity a day or simply setting a timer for 10-15 minutes where you are focused on your child’s body language can allow your child to reap the benefits. The more you try it out, the more automatic it will become and embedded into your routines!
