This can feel overwhelming and even a little scary. With so much information out there, often promising “quick fixes” for a small fee, it can be hard to know where to begin. You want the best for your child, ensuring they can connect with you and others in meaningful ways.
The good news? Supporting your child’s communication can be fun, stress-free, and incorporated into your daily routine—no special programs or expensive tools required! Here are three simple, research-backed strategies to encourage language development: parallel talk, offering choices, and pausing.
Parallel talk is simply labeling items, actions, emotions, or even making comments around an event or activity. You are describing what your child is doing, seeing, or feeling in real time. In other words, you’re taking on a narration role. This is much more beneficial compared to asking questions or directing your loved one to an answer because they may not have the tools or language to respond, or may not want what you think they want. Through parallel talk, you are providing them with the appropriate language in that moment. It can help them expand their vocabulary, learn how to build a sentence, and encourages communication and play while making interactions fun and stress free!
Next on the list is providing choices. Instead of leaving the question open ended where an option may not be available, ultimately leaving your child disappointed, or your child is having trouble deciding between 10+ choices, offering options for your child when trying to determine what they want or need lets them take control of their experience in a manageable way while providing them with the appropriate language at the same time. And let’s be honest, even as adults, too many options can be overwhelming. I know I get stressed when trying to determine the best toothpaste while shopping at the grocery store. Do I want the one that whitens my teeth? Do I want the toothpaste that is cheap but gets the job done? Or do I want to have fresh breath for even longer? My blood pressure rises just thinking about it.
Offering up 1-3 choices can provide your child with the opportunity to use gestures, words, or even other body language to express what they really want in an easy way. Plus, it can be even more rewarding for them because they ultimately get what they want quickly!
The last tip for the day is something that can be a bit hard to do at first: pausing or using wait time. This means you are providing a little extra time after you ask a question or use parallel talk, approximately 3-20 seconds, depending on the person. You are giving your child a moment to process what is being said, as well as time to figure out how they want to respond without feeling pressured. I’ve seen a lot of families and professional staff immediately repeat the question after pausing for 0.2 seconds and not getting a response. Try to count in your head to keep yourself accountable and provide enough time, “One, two, three, four, five.” Trust me, it may feel like a long time has passed, but nine times out of ten, it’s been less than three seconds. When you ask a question again too soon, your child has to then process the same information again, restarting the cycle, most likely increasing the pressure (which is what we want to avoid). When you give wait time, it encourages your child to participate, supports processing time, and increases their chances of responding or trying to respond.
Now that you’ve learned these three simple ways of encouraging communication engagement in a fun and easy way, let’s start small. Pick 1-2 activities a day to try them out with your child. It could be when you’re playing with cars together, going out for ice cream, or going to the playground. You are learning too, so give yourself time to adjust, and make them routine. As always, have fun with it!